While Dan’s Away, De Stays Busy

Hey everyone! I hope you’re enjoying your summer. Europe has finally yielded to the season and it’s finally warming up! It’s been almost a month since we last spoke and a lot has changed.

Since we last spoke, Dan has left on Mission (Army speak for mini-deployment). It’s been difficult with him gone, mostly because we had just moved in about 2.5 weeks beforehand. Thankfully we have some amazing friends and I like to think of myself as Wonder Woman (as you probably know by now if you’ve followed the blog) and with help I can say we’re settled (for the most part).

I was also able to go on a local adventure with our friends. I’m so grateful to them especially since Dan has been gone for all their help and welcoming me along on some adventures. Our first adventure (and probably most exciting) was some local castle ruins. I wish I could fully capture how beautiful it is here. And yes, European towns/villages are beyond charming (I’m hoping to soon capture more photos of our small village because it looks like something from a storybook). Regardless, we enjoyed the castle ruins and we all enjoyed imagining what life was once like in this old, historic country. Once we had finished exploring, we went to a pizza place near the local Air Force base for amazing food and probably the best dessert of my life.

My latest adventure was small but significant. My friend took me grocery shopping and explained all the prices, products, and procedures (yes, it’s done differently here). She also took me to Kik (pronounced like “kick”) which is an amazing, higher end dollar store. I was able to find a tea box (which doesn’t hold American tea as well since our packaging is bigger- yeah, found that out the hard way), a picture frame (I’m working on displaying our adventures in our home), and two rugs (one for the kitchen and one for the guest bathroom) all very inexpensively- and now I’m in love with Kik for when I need some small things around the house. 😉 I also discovered our local pond and walking trail (which I will explore another day) which apparently leads to more castle ruins.

Dan has been busy on mission, so all I can say about him is that he is busy, but doing well. He is ready to be home (and I’m ready to have him home) but Dan is tough (you probably knew that already) and he’s doing his best to be a good leader. I’m proud of him despite the fact that I miss him more than I can explain. Thankfully, both of us have remained busy and the time seems to passing only snail-like slow instead of “snail in the middle of winter through molasses” slow.

On a different note, I have learned some things about our humble new home. Our post was a former Nazi base, in fact, I’m told that it was Hitler’s training grounds. Some of the older buildings had swastikas that have been painted over (they’re illegal now), and some people have reported having them carved into their closets in some of the older apartments. There are also apparently dungeons somewhere on post that are open for halloween. There are others but they only open the one set for people to see. I’ve heard several other rumors, but those are by far the most interesting.

For those of you who are praying for us, THANK YOU. It’s been a hard for me to adjust to a new country, culture, and life without Dan so quickly and Dan has struggled with starting work only to go on mission so quickly. Please continue to pray for endurance for us as we patiently wait for Dan to come back home. Military life can be a challenge, but I must admit, it’s a fun challenge. We are truly blessed and are (for the most part) loving our new European life.

We love you all and wish you enough.

XOXO,

Looking down from the castle ruins

Looking out from the top of the ruins.

Olivia and I at the ruins.

We made it to the Castle!

The best dessert of my life!

The Adjustment Period

Hey friends! I hope you’re doing well and that you’re enjoying spring. Life here in Europe has been quite an adventure these past 3 weeks, so I figured it’s time to give you a little insight on what’s happening with Dan and I. 🙂

First things first, everything arrived! The same day I showed up, so did our household goods and it was a whirlwind. Honestly, the biggest pet peeve I have at the moment is that I can’t find my umbrella- maybe it got lost in the move… and I really need it here because it rains a LOT. Oh well, anyway, settling in has been slow for a few reasons. 1. We have a LOT of damage. Basically everything we own has damage of some kind and some of our things aren’t able to be used at this time (think dining room table), so that’s been hard. 2. I got a job! I started 4 days after landing and I LOVE IT! I work for a contracting company that runs a program that serves as an extra layer of security for our base- so basically I talk to people all day long and welcome them to our base or wish them the best as they move on and everything in-between. Finally, 3. Dan has been preparing for “mission” (Army speak for small deployment).

So combine all those factors and life has been insane. So after not even being in Europe for a month, Dan has left for mission. Thankfully it’s not terribly long but it could be a lot shorter. The hardest part of this for me is that I don’t have many friends here, so this is truly a time for me to spread my wings and stand out on my own. I’m grateful for the opportunity to stand on my own and take care of everything HOWEVER, I REALLY wish Dan could’ve stayed home until we had the house finished (we’re almost done).

While Dan is gone, I will have plenty to keep me busy. Between exploring with friends, trying to fix our internet (our large computer is currently on the coffee table because the internet doesn’t work upstairs -_-), getting the echo out of my home, and work… I’m HOPING mission passes quickly.

As for things that have been hard to get used to… all the recycling. I love it and hate it because I have to make sure everything is in their proper bins however, it’s totally worth it to save the planet. The language barrier isn’t as bad as Japan, and I have co-workers who are helping me practice my language skills (everyone in the building is bi-lingual!). The driving signs are weird as well! Thankfully though, we’re on the same side as the US- no more feeling like we’r’e going to drive into oncoming traffic like in Japan! (Yes, that was a very real thing.) Also, the windmills are beautiful especially with the yellow flower fields that have been blooming. I don’t have a good photo of them since we’re always driving when we see them, but if I find a spot to take a still photo- I’ll share it because it truly looks like something out of a storybook. I also adore all the little towns! Seriously, I don’t miss Walmart or Target (yet). The biggest store I’ve seen is Ikea and it is so much more amazing here than in the US (sorry America, Europe wins with Ikea- including the food.) Finally, I’m still not used to living on an Army base. I recently learned we have an artillery field nearby- by hearing large booms that scared me to death (I hate loud noises).

Overall, we haven’t had a lot of time to have a ton of fun or do much traveling yet. However, when Dan gets home we have already started making plans. 🙂 For those of you praying for us, please continue to do so. Dan is struggling with leaving for mission so quickly after arriving and I am struggling here since I was not fully set up before he left (had to go get my drivers license today!). Please pray that we both stay safe and healthy while we’re apart and that our reunion is sooner than we expect (dates fluctuate more in the Army it seems). Also, please be praying for me as I try to establish my tribe here and finish settling in as a whole. Finally, please pray that we can be a positive light in our community- showing and sharing the love of Christ with those around us.

We love you all and wish you enough.

XOXO,

5 years down… Forever to Go!

Hi friends! I’m so sorry this post is late. Life has been crazy and while I keep writing to you in my head- I figure it’s time to put those thoughts down for you to enjoy. 😉 So, as you’ve probably figured out from my title, Dan and I celebrated 5 years of marriage this past January! Can you believe it?! We certainly can’t- but we’re grateful for our journey together and with each passing year we’ve come to work together better and better. Honestly, our marriage is like a fine wine, getting better and better with each passing year. 🙂

So please allow me to share with you a recap of our 5th year of marriage. In our 5th year of marriage:

-Dan went to bootcamp (again)- this time for the Army.

-De began (and completed) IV Lyme therapy (and feels back to her old self!)

-Dan commissioned in the Army and is officially Lt. Dan. (ALL.THE.JOKES.)

-De was involved with 3 weddings.

-Dan re-enlisted his long-time friend into the Navy (he found a loophole of ANY Officer can perform the ceremony)

-We moved in 10 days (find a place, organize, and get there) for Dan’s training.

-We received orders and will move to Europe in the spring!!!! (Yes, it’s still exciting to us)

-We hosted Christmas for our parents at our apartment since it was halfway between them- and had a blast.

This past year was tough simply because we were apart so long and so often. However, the Lord is our strength and we managed to handle it well. We’re excited to see what our 6th year of marriage brings as we embark on yet another adventure. Ya’ll, I’m so happy I married my best friend- we truly have an amazing life.

Thanks for sharing life with us and please continue to pray for us as we prepare for yet another move. I love you all and wish you enough.

XOXO,

For This Day I Prayed

Hi friends! I hope you’re enjoying this holiday season. Thanksgiving is a time of reflection of all we have been blessed with. I have some serious blessings to share with you. I am finally human again!!! Okay, I was always human (or Wonder Woman, rather) BUT now.. I DO NOT HAVE AN IV TUBE COMING OUT OF MY CHEST!!!!! Can you believe it?! After 9 months of IV therapy, I can say I am done. While this doesn’t mean I’m in remission, it does mean I am quickly heading in the right direction and can move to oral antibiotics!

To say that I’m relieved is the biggest understatement of the year. In case you didn’t know, Power Lines, are not the safest things in the world. In fact, I had about 10 different ways I could die while going through treatment… and if I’m honest, a few life-threatening moments occurred (death by bubble anyone?). Overall, IV treatment taught me it’s okay to slow down and that God does give us seasons of rest in our lives.

That being said…. I’m so thrilled this season is over! I feel like I’ve been walking through the valley for a LONG time (3.5 years…) and I’m finally seeing the green pastures up ahead. All I can say, is to God be the glory because without my faith, I wouldn’t have made it this far. He is good all the time and all the time He is good. While I didn’t (and still don’t fully) understand why the Lord allowed me to go through this period, I do know that I have learned to rely on Him and where my true sense of worth comes from. However, I’m ready to return to my regularly scheduled life. 🙂

So, what’s next? First things first, I’m getting back into my workout routine! If you know me, you know I love running, insanity, barre, Piyo and the like. Before treatment I was doing one legged triceps push-ups- and while I probably won’t be doing any of those anytime soon-I lost a lot of upper body strength during treatment (but what did I expect? I couldn’t lift more than 5lbs…) I will be working on strength and endurance. So please be praying I give myself grace and patience to bounce back after this (mandatory) season of rest. 🙂

Medically speaking, and this is the best part, I go back to my doctor on March 19th. That’s right ya’ll, no more monthly visits! I have an oral protocol to follow until then and that’s it! Once I see him on March 19th I will be entering into the maintenance stage! God really knows what He’s doing timing wise since we’ll be moving to Europe in April. And for those of you wondering, I will have a phone consult or two with my doctor until I am considered in remission and released from care. So- there will be no need to worry about visits, medications, ect!

If you are wondering how I’m feeling now that it’s all over. I am relieved. I am happy. I am alive. I am thankful. Most importantly, I am me. As I told my doctor, I feel like me again! I feel like it’s okay to dare to dream about my future because now I have a bright future to look forward to!

To those of you who have prayed for, encouraged, and uplifted me these last several years, THANK YOU! Your love and support means more to me than I can express in mere words.

I hope you continue to follow our journey as we prepare for our next big life adventure: Europe! I can’t wait to share all our adventures with you!

XOXO,

Counting Every Blessing

Hey everyone! I pray you are enjoying your fall. Is it just me or did fall literally come in a day? Seriously, it was in the 80’s here and then it just plummeted to the low 70’s to even the high 50’s. Where did my 75 degree weather go?! Anyway, that’s not what I’m here to write you about- you know the weather. Instead, I’ll share my heart with what God is doing in our lives.

So let’s start with this: you all know that Dan graduated from OCS and is now officially Lt. Dan! (See last post- and yes, he’s gotten at least 10 Forest Gump meme’s on Facebook alone LOL- no I did not post a SINGLE ONE.) Well, now he is in VA for training- till March. Logic would dictate that he would be put up into a hotel and that I would visit when I could (which I do anyway but I’m getting ahead of myself). However, upon arrival he was informed that he would be required to PCS (MOVE) to VA for training- oh and there’s no availability on base. (Are you seeing the panic here? Because there was slight panic…). So… Dan and I took a couple of DAYS (Literally 2 days) and found a lovely apartment about 10 minutes from base. Within 10 days we found our place, signed the lease and MOVED OUR STUFF to our 3rd FLOOR apartment. Shout out to our parents who didn’t complain once and were willing and happy to help us out.

Now that we’re mostly moved in, we really like it. However, we’ve decided not to fully unpack since we will be moving in about 5 months anyway… have to love living half unpacked. To give you an idea, our movies are in a tote and I have no plans to take them out of said tote just to put them back in the tote to move again. The good news is that even with only being “partially moved-in” I would say that it still has a “home” feel to it.

But would you like to know the best part? I (as in me, De) am not fully moved in. Instead, I have clothes here and things still in NC. So over the next few months I have to finish moving in with Dan. It’s been made interesting since I still have my port in my chest. I can live with Dan through the week but I have to see my mom by Sunday for a dressing change. So, it’s interesting around here to say the least. We travel literally every weekend.

HOWEVER, I have news for you all!!! Yes- I’m so excited I can barely contain myself. I am asking for prayer as I FINISH IV THERAPY!!!!!! Let me make this even better, On November 29,2018 at 8am I have surgery to NO LONGER BE A CYBORG!!!!!!!! Can you even comprehend this?? I will be able to go for a run and take a real shower- no more washing my hair over the side of the tub!!!!! I can’t begin to say how excited I am, and quite frankly I doubt anything I write could completely convey it.

So God has answered my prayers! I am finally going to be free of my port and back to only oral antibiotics to finish beating this Lyme beast down! But wait… there’s more news!!! Seriously ya’ll, God is blessing us in ways I could only dream of! So let me fill you in on our even more amazing news!

As ya’ll know, Dan is in the Army and one of the great joys (agonies) of military life is never knowing where you’re going next. For the last several months I have stayed with my family while Dan has been in training and now we are on the East Coast while he finishes his school for his new job. It’s been a long haul, but we’ve been waiting for orders to know where we’ll be living for the next few years. Seriously, the wait was agony and it was the day Dan was going to write his Detailer (Man who gives us orders) and request his top 5 choices with explanations. BUT GOD (ya’ll know this is my favorite saying)… BUT GOD went before Dan. He got orders!!

EUROPE!

That’s right! We’re moving to Europe for 3 years! It’s a dream come true and we’re beyond excited.

Thanks for sharing in our journey. Soon you’ll be getting stories from across the pond! We love you all and wish you enough.

XOXO,

Round 3… Or is it 4?

Hey everyone! It’s been a while since we last had a chat. I have to be honest, it’s hard to let you in on my life sometimes. Mostly because I feel like I’m complaining (I promise I’m not trying to) or like I’m simply inadequate. It’s been hard going from fun adventures in Asia to adventures in the doctor’s office.

Anyway, first of all, I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving and are on your way to a very Merry Christmas. This last thanksgiving was truly a special one for my family. On Dan’s side, everyone was home! (See above photo.) Ya’ll, this is a BIG deal. We have family spread around the country and we were all in one place for Thanksgiving! It was truly a blessing. For Christmas, we’ll be with my parents -we try to make the holidays even with our families, which can be challenging with them living so far apart. How do you and your families split up holidays? (Seriously, someone tell me)

On a different note, Dan and I have officially been together (dating, engaged and married combined) for 9 years. NINE. Is it really possible?? I guess that’s what happens when you meet the love of your life at 15 years old and start dating at age 16… how truly blessed we are. 🙂 Speaking of blessed, let me fill you in on what’s going on medically and tell you just how blessed I am to be spending my life with Dan. God really has designed us for one another, let me tell you.

I think the last time we talked I was getting ready for my appointment with my Lyme specialist since my Lyme results popped positive for Lyme and Bartonella. Well, I went to the appointment and guess what? Time for PICC line number two. Yes folks, I won a PICC line doctor’s order when I saw him last. (I know how to do this, don’t I?) The good news is, I know what to expect with a PICC line, the bad news is I know what to expect with a PICC line and to make matters worse, our insurance company continues to deny coverage for my treatment. So basically, I have this standing order for a PICC line (which by the way, the waiting process for this is worse than having it in… I hate when they do the procedure to put it in… I want this over with…-okay, ending my whiny rant) but since my insurance company won’t pay for treatment (yet), I can’t get the PICC line.

To give you an idea of why this is so important I have to explain some medical happenings in my body (sorry for those of you who hate medical crap). First, understand that the Lyme and Bartonella in my body has managed to get into my spinal cord and spinal fluid, run up my spine and into my brain. Neurological Lyme disease is what they call it. The Lyme in the brain has created a brain lesion (not sure if I’ve talked about Brineta before) which is growing fairly quickly (over 1/3 bigger in 4-6 month apart MRI’s). The theory is that Brineta is causing most of my fun issues. You remember right? Like how I run into things, almost tip over, oh and my ultimate favorite have something that looks like a seizure, which convulsions but has been labeled “seizure potential of an epileptic nature” (not kidding) just to name a few of the ‘fun’ I’ve had to deal with and Dan has had to watch. Well, if they can get antibiotics into my brain (breaking the blood-brain barrier) that Brineta will shrink and possibly go away. While I live with Brineta, I’d like her to move out permanently. (Yes, I know I’m weird for naming my brain lesion and talking about it like a person but it oddly makes this less scary for me… so bare with my quirks please. 🙂 )

So basically, until I get this PICC line I’m stuck… essentially getting worse. And by essentially.. I guess I mean I am. My memory is worse, my ability to find words or finish sentences is worse (BUT Dan is great at guessing what I’m trying to covey lol), and the scariest of all, my ‘seizures’ are worse. It’s matched my medication and I now convulse-and ya’ll… it can last a LONG time sometimes. The other theory is that every time I convulse or have a ‘seizure’ where my vision goes completely blurry that Brineta grows a little bit. I’ve been having these episodes more than I care to admit.

Now let me tell you, Dan is handling this all like a champion. He’s supportive, and caring and to be honest, a little (or more like a lot) scared. It breaks my heart to see how his face changes (with what little vision I have) when I have an episode, or when I tip over (his reflexes are lightning fast… he’s good at catching me- even if he doesn’t expect it). He’s understanding when I just can’t do something because I’ve worn myself down too much that week. He has never questioned or wondered why this is happening to me (us) instead of someone else. Oh, and did I mention that he’s the one taking on the insurance company now? If that’s not love, I don’t know what is… he’s truly incredible.

Speaking of Dan… he graduates on December 17th. Let me say this again… HE GRADUATES NEXT SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!! To say we’re excited is a gross understatement. While I’ve been sick and he’s been taking care of me, he’s taken the time he had to go and finish his pre-law degree. To say I’m proud doesn’t even fully explain it. I told you he was an incredible man. 😉

Well folks, the only other news to give you is that we’re moving. We did a lot of praying and talking to my parents and feel that it would be best for me to be with mom and dad while Dan prepares and leaves for OCS training. This way, when I finally get my PICC line (Dan isn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer), I have family there to take care of me…. because PICC lines make life difficult.

So for those of you who have been praying for us… THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I’m grateful for all of you. To share our lives like this can be a challenge, but I know that it helps ya’ll know how to pray for us. Speaking of which, please be praying for Dan as he finishes his schoolwork- this last week is going to be tough for him. Also, please pray for us as we prepare to move and for my parents who are graciously taking me back in to care for. Also, please pray that our appeal to the insurance company not only gets approved, but that they pay for the entire treatment (not just 28 days). I will need this PICC line for a minimum of 3-4 months (possibly longer) and the cost is simply too much for us to handle ($100/day!).

We love you all bunches and bunches. We thank God for you everyday. God has truly blessed us. He is good all the time and all the time He is good. Although we’re walking a difficult road right now, we know that He is watching out for us and working it all out for our benefit. We’re just glad it’s us on this road and not someone else. 😉 Thank you for sharing this journey with us.

XOXOXO,

The Results Are In!

Hey everyone! Life for Dan and I has been pretty boring lately. School has been consuming Dan and thus, I haven’t had the computer. Sorry it’s taken so long for me to update you. Although, to be fully honest I had to take some time to digest everything. Though, I have a lot to share with you medically, I also have some fantastic news. So let me start with the good, before I tell you what’s new with just me. 😉 (By the way, I’ve been writing to you for a while in my head… you just can’t read it till I put it down here…)

So to begin… Dan. You know, that loveable, crazy, amazing man I married? Yeah, him. Well, he has been working so hard- in fact he’s on his last week of 18 credits in 8 weeks. Ya’ll I can’t even express how proud I am of him for doing so well in all 6 of his classes. (Yes, 6 class at once for 8 weeks- I told you we haven’t had a life). While he’s been doing this, he has managed to take me to doctors appointments, visit my family in North Carolina, and somehow still help me a bit around the house all while keeping his grades up. Did I mention these are law classes? So needless to say, it’s been tough for him (keep those prayers coming please!). Anyway, once this week is over (finals are on Sunday) he only has one more class until he is officially GRADUATED!!! Let me say this again- HE HAS ONE CLASS TILL GRADUATION!!!!!! To say that we’re excited is a bit of an understatement. He’s been working so hard since I got sick to finish his degree, and it’s finally here!!

So that’s my fantastic news- just had to brag on my hubby for a bit. Now, to tell you what’s going on with me. 🙂 The good news is, I don’t have anything insane. Remember, the spinal tap? They tested for EVERYTHING. Fungus, brain tumor, bacteria- you name it they tested for it. Fortunately (yet unfortunately) the results are negative. There was nothing determinable in my spinal fluid. So my neurologist has put me on new anti-seizure medications (the first two caused allergic reactions- not fun) and has claimed that it is Lyme and Bartonella in my brain. Fun, right? I seriously thought we were done with this stuff.. guess not.

A couple weeks after the spinal tap, I got the final results form my Lyme culture… the one taken in February or March. As it turns out, I am not in remission. My Lyme and Bartonella are in full effect. Which ironically, was a relief to me since I’m still having balance problems, seizures, and I run into things (I promise I see the door frame but for some reason I still bump into it). Digesting that I’m not in remission like I had hoped, has been a process. I can’t say that I’m shocked, but I will say that I’m sad that this fight isn’t over yet. Two years is a LONG time for anyone to be ill. Dan has been great this whole time, though the spinal tap really freaked him out.

So what is to be done now with my Lyme/Bartonella? My current Lyme doctor has me on a new antibiotic. However, I’m not feeling any different. With Lyme, if you feel like crap, it’s killing the bacteria, if you feel fine… it’s not doing anything. Unfortunately, I feel fine currently. I have an appointment to see him at the beginning of August and hopefully create a treatment plan. If he doesn’t know what to do for me, then I will have to make an appointment with a very specialized doctor in Washington, D.C. Ya’ll, I don’t want to do it- the cost is enormous, but I know my health is worth more. So, please pray that my local doctor can figure me out.

As for our fun adventures. We’ve only had one since we last spoke. Dan and I spent the weekend of the 4th in North Carolina. It was great to see my parents and we also got to catch up with our friends Kevin and Rachel. Did I also mention, that one of my best friends, Beka turned 25? Well, she did and so we were able to make it to her birthday party! (That was the main reason we went to N.C…. shhh don’t tell the others 😉 ). It was really warm, and Dan had a ton of homework but it was still great to be able to spend time and see everyone. It’s hard when you live so far away from some great friends and family. (Though, we are blessed to be 15 minutes from Dan’s parents and oldest sister.)

Anyway, that’s been our life. Dan in school, me doing what I can to help him and processing what to do for me as our time here will come to a close soon-ish. We’re praying Dan gets his contract soon (August..?) and that the transition to officer goes smoothly for him. Though, we’re not sure when he would be leaving for OCS (Officer Candidate School). When he goes, I will be able to stay behind, and hopefully function lol. I do have a friend who is willing to move in with me when the time comes so that way I’m not alone and she can help me do things I can’t (mowing, vacuuming.. anything loud).

For those of you who have been praying for us these past 2 years. THANK YOU. We always feel so blessed when someone tells us that we are in their thoughts and prayers. I ask that you would continue to pray for us as we continue to navigate the medical waters for me. Also, please pray for Dan as he finishes his degree- senior-itis is REAL. We love you all and thank you for sharing in our journey.

XOXO,

De’s Next Steps

Hey everyone! I finally have some news to share with you regarding my health. 😀 It’s taken Dan and I both some time to digest everything but now that we’re going in a clear direction, I feel ready to share what’s going on in our journey with you. It’s been a long road from where we started (22 months and counting) and I NEVER thought it would take this long to get back to health (and I’m still not back yet- yikes).

However, let’s not focus on the negative and let’s get you caught up to speed. 😉 So- a few months ago we found out that Bartonella is still in my system (it’s a co-infection of Lyme disease, which I have but MAY be in remission… we’ll know for sure in a few more months). My Lyme doctor gave me new antibiotics in hopes that would treat the Bartonella, but since I’ve been having a lot of neurological symptoms requested that I go see a neurologist. Apparently having your vision go blurry, loosing your balance, brain fog, and a host of other things simply isn’t normal- go figure lol. So, just to be on the safe side, a neurological consultation would be in my best interest.

It took a while, but after seeing my family doctor he agreed with my Lyme doctor. So, I went to see a neurologist. During this time, we figured out that the antibiotics that the Lyme doctor had put me on weren’t touching a thing. In fact, they just made me miserable (insert insomnia state here… ugh)- so my Lyme doctor said the words that make every patient’s world come crashing down, “I’m not sure what to do for you right now..”. So he has to wait for neurology to see if that essentially makes him “un-stuck (fun, right?).

So what did the neurologist say? After reviewing my MRI and EEG that I had done specifically for her, there is a brain lesion in the right frontal lobe which is essentially bigger and more predominate than before. The EEG read abnormal as well. The appointment however, was encouraging considering. Basically, whatever is in my body has gone into my spine and up spinal fluid to leak into my brain. Due to where the brain lesion is, the neurologist just wants to rule everything out before she makes a call on how to go about treating what is essentially infecting my brain. She does believe in Lyme and a type of Lyme that is hard to treat, and she did seem to be open to the possibility that this could be Lyme or Bartonella in my brain (which is the belief of some of my other doctors).

So what is the plan? The first thing we’re doing is to switch my anti-seizure medication. Prayerfully this new stuff (which I believe is ultimately stronger) will work. The next thing is a spinal tap which is being done on Friday, May 5th at 11:30 (prayers for me and the doctor please). After that I see the neurologist again on May 30th to discussion treatment options (though when we talked in her office, IV therapy was already being discussed…).

This is where we’re at right now. It’s not a lot of answers, but it is a step in the right direction. I am praying that this is our answer, that this is the beginning of where I start to fully come back to living. Right now I am sleeping a lot, and most days it hard to function, prayerfully they can figure out why and give me something to fix the problem altogether and help give me a life back. However, I know who holds my future and I trust He has a purpose and a plan for this.

For those of you who are praying for us, THANK YOU. I am asking that you continue to do so. I know that it’s been a long (almost) 2 years. I never would have imagined it would take this long to get to where I am, and certainly I would’ve thought I would be completely better by now. However, that is not the case. Please be praying that this anti-seizure medicine is the medicine I need. Dan and I are dying to get back to church, but until I can handle lights and sound and crowds, church is simply not a possibility- and for the two extraverts that we are… it’s hard. Also, please be praying for me and the doctors tomorrow (May 5th) as I have my spinal tap. Finally, as always- please be praying for Dan as he is always by my side and watching me go through this. If you’ve ever had a sick spouse, you know it’s hard but with a chronically ill spouse the dynamic changes to climbing Everest. He is truly the strongest man I know, and he never stops loving or caring for me- even when things get hard or scary (like when my chest decides to randomly start hurting but I know better than to go to the ER because they say my heart is fine.. yup, Dan is awesome ya’ll). So please, don’t forget to lift him up in your prayers- also… he’s almost done with school- so he could use the extra support there. 😉

If you want to know how we’re handling it all- to be brutally honest, it’s a little overwhelming. The idea that I have a brain lesion from something in my body that is essentially trying to take over- just sounds like something out of a sci-fy movie to me. None of this seems like it is real or even possible- it all started with me just feeling a little tired and being weak. To have escalated into all of this, just blows my mind. Everyday I am humbled and reminded that I am not who I used to be. Yet, I remember that my life is a testimony to the One who can do great things He will use this for something good (although I have no idea what it is yet)- and that is what I am putting my trust in. That God will use this for good and that I will not be beaten by whatever is trying to overtake my body- instead I will fight and by the grace of God, overcome it.

Thanks for sharing in our journey with us. We love you and thank God for you.

xoxo,

Birthdays, Broadway, and Boring Days…

Hey everyone! I have really been slacking on the updates. Partly because we’ve been busy (yes, I have things I can talk about- what is this?!), partly because I’m processing, and partly because well- as you know, Dan is in school and hogs the computer. 😉 However, since we last spoke I have aged a year (yikes), Dan and I jumped in the car with some friends from N.C. (okay they came to us first) and we went to New York for the day and saw a Broadway play (bucket list item), and that’s where the fun ends. I have gotten more news from the doctor (the test results are in) and Dan has been trying to keep his head on straight with 18 college credits in 8 weeks (this is why I haven’t updated)- just to name a few. So keep reading if you want to know about the ridiculousness that is our lives. 😀

Okay, so let’s start with my birthday, since that’s fun and quick. Dan and my parents surprised me with a party at a restaurant in Gettysburg. They posed it as “just a family dinner”- but when I got there everyone was there. They even did this last minute. I felt so loved and so blessed- the extrovert in me definitely needed the time with everyone. So again, to everyone to came out – I know I said it there but THANK YOU! It was truly amazing.

A few weeks later in the middle of March, Dan and I already had planned with Kevin and Rachel (friends of mine from college that are now Dan’s friends too) to go to New York to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. The original plan was to spend the whole day in New York, but the reality was that we ended up just spending part of the afternoon there because the day was SO. DANG. COLD. Seriously, in the 20’s, and if you know me- I have an autoimmune disorder that causes me to literally not handle the cold. However, driving to New York, we all agreed it was weird to not see the twin towers and once we got to the city, we got through the tunnel, and tried to find a place to park…with no luck. Then we took a wrong turn just to go right back out the tunnel back to New Jersey- all within 15 minutes. LOL. Kevin, Rachel and I, thought this was hilarious. Dan, who was driving.. not so much. But this turned out to work in our favor.

Have you ever heard of Hoboken, New Jersey? That’s where we ended up parking. You probably have. It’s the home of Cake Boss. In fact, we parked right around the corner from Carlos Bakery, and just happened to spot it. So of course, we stopped. Yes, the cupcake I had was amazing. And yes, the place was packed- but we weren’t going to not stop. Our next stop was to go find one monument before the show, but instead we went to the Hard Rock Cafe and hung out for a while (2-3 hours for dinner) since it was right around the corner from Broadway. Then we went and enjoyed our show before driving home that night. It was a long night, and we all forgot about the “spring forward” thing, so we made it home at like 4am.. needless to say, we slept in.

Rachel and I outside Carlos Bakery

All of us outside the Theater after the show.

Just before Kevin and Rachel came in, I had gotten my test results from my Lyme culture. Or rather, the first part (it runs up to four months, so something else could always pop up). I have active Bartonella. My Lyme may be in remission but one it’s lovely co-infections, is not and Bartonella is no fun- so my doctor has put me on a 500mg antibiotic. To be honest, so far I haven’t felt any different and I can’t even tell I’m on the medicine. But hopefully at some point it will kick in and I will have some relief. My Lyme doctor has also requested that I see a Neurologist, so we’ll see how that goes. Anyway- that’s where we’re at… it’s not a lot of fun and I just want this to be over, but that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon.

On a happier note, Dan and I did get to get together with some friends and go see Beauty and the Beast the weekend it came out, which was a blast. I personally enjoyed the movie and thought they did a great job with the live action- but nothing replaces the originals (ahem, I’m looking at you Cinderella…). Anyway, since then we were pretty much on lock-down here at the house with Dan in school. He is working at a sprint pace to finish school- he can see the finish line now, and just wants it to be over and done. If it all goes according to plan, he will graduate in July. Can you believe it? With a Legal Studies degree, no less! Yes, I’m a proud wife.

But last week we did have some visitors (no I didn’t get photos because I was busy spending time… oops). We haven’t seen them since JAPAN! Kevin (a different Kevin) and his wife Jordan and their newborn came in for a day or two while they were on a road trip! It was so amazing to catch up with them again. We talk online, but it’s never the same. This was the first time we’ve seen them since they’ve had their child or since Kevin has become a civilian. It was really a wonderful time together, and I’m glad we got to have the opportunity to be on their list of people to see while they’re doing this road trip.

This past week has been busy, we did get to see Nick and Jen (this is the first time we’ve seen Nick since he’s been home from deployment)- they came up our way from the D.C. area for dinner. Also, dan has had a class all week for the Navy, and I have been home alone during the day, which has given me time to help him with getting school readings done (since he hasn’t had time). So Dan has been really busy trying to get homework done. He has two classes about to end, and three that he’s smack dab in the middle of (so finals and mid-terms are lining up perfectly for him), so he’s really stressed out.

While we do things occasionally, most of the time we’re at home- Dan is neck deep in school and I am probably sleeping or doing something around the house.. or bored. This has been a very difficult season for us as we continue to wait for all the answers on my health, plan for the future, and overall try to stay positive. This has been a long road, and it doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon.

For those of you who are praying for us, thank you- those prayers mean more to us than us than words can express. Please continue to pray for us as we move forward with my health plan, and as Dan finishes up school (his senioritis is really kicking in). Pray for wisdom for my doctors since I am not feeling any better on my medicine (they will need to change up the regimen). Finally, please just pray for Dan, ya’ll- I can’t express this enough, Dan is in the muck with me everyday. Chronic illness is really hard for the person going through it (obviously) but I think it’s harder on the caregiver because Dan can’t do anything for me but love me, and pray for me and help me around the house a little bit more than normal. He’s handling this really well, but just please pray for him. 😉

We love you all and thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

XOXOXO,

Learning True Love… A Valentine’s Update

Hey everyone! Thanks for keeping up with our journey. I know that I’m not always the best at writing lately, and truth be told it’s because I have a lot to process (I’ll explain- I promise.) But also, I don’t want to bog you down with “well today I woke up at 2pm and laid around watching Netflix because I had about as much energy as a sloth”. It’s a far cry from what anyone wants to share about their life and a farther cry from what someone else would want to hear. Don’t fret- for those of you who have been praying, I will give you an update on my health. But please allow me to share what’s on my heart first.

My husband. Ya’ll know about Dan- and if you have had the pleasure of meeting Dan, then you probably have never forgotten him. He is charismatic, funny, and can make anyone around him comfortable. He also has a smile to that’s to die for. We have had a LOT of time together these past 19 moths (yes- it’s been that long that I’ve been ill- and yes I’m still counting… no, I don’t have a time frame of when I’ll be better. But that’s not my point here… bear with me) and it’s something that I’ve truly cherished. The time we’ve had is something that most only get when they’re retired. We wake up together, we eat together, we get groceries together, we do errands together, doctors appointments together, cook together, I mean you think of it, we’re rarely apart unless Dan has some weird training thing or an errand that I simply don’t have energy or the desire to do. This is unheard of for a young couple in their 20’s and yet it is something that we’re able to do because the military understands that I cannot live on my own. Some couples, would be sick of each other by now, but we are grateful- yet it’s a hard situation.

Dan looked at me the other day driving down the road, and very casually said “You know I will never leave you, right?” I replied, “Well, yeah.” He said, “Good.” And thus began our conversation which I probably took for granted. My husband is truly a superhero. The woman he married, the young, vibrant, energetic, perfectionist who is super capable has gone through a lot these past 19- months (you know that). But standing beside me the whole time was my strong but worried, loving husband. He never once wavered, never once left my side and I even remember him carrying me around the house so I could still have some independence. My husband has shown me what true love looks like. He’s not always great at romance with flowers, and candlelight dinners. But he has never once let me walk this very long, hard road alone- even when it gets hard for me he is behind me pushing me and telling me that I am stronger than I think.

When I was young, I thought love was always in feeling. I thought it was the teddy bears, flowers, candles and romantic dinners. Now, my opinion has changed. Love to me is my darling husband who every time I have a random chest pain gives me the most concerned look. Love is him snuggling up next to me to keep me warmer because my Reynolds Syndrome is acting up and I’m like an ice cube. Love is him telling me that they will stop the xy and z problems and that I’ll get my health back and even if I’m never 100% back, that he’ll love me just the same, that is true love to me. I just needed to let you know how blessed I truly am. 🙂

In case you didn’t know, I love my husband. 😉 He really is a super hero- I swear, and not just because the back of his uniform looks like a cape. (Sorry, that was corny, but I had to..) Anyway, I’ve been sitting on this information for a while. I needed some time to absorb it, understand it, process it, and go to the doctor to figure out what we’re going to do about it. My Lyme culture came back negative. Normally, this is where I would jump up and down and throw a party and say “Beasties beaten!!” and claim remission. But not this time. This feels different, I don’t feel better. In fact, one day I was without my anti-seizure medication and I started to convulse again- not good! Therefore, I know something is up! Back to the Lyme doctor I go- luckily he’s amazing and doesn’t think I’m making this up.

Basically, here’s the scoop: When I had my Lyme culture taken, I was only off antibiotics for 4 weeks, however I had been taking antibiotics for over a year- meaning I was still probably more antibiotic than human at that point. So, he wants a Lyme Culture redo and to check me for ALL co-infections (it’s a LOT of blood)- I haven’t done this yet, because my sleep cycle is a little wonky and I need to be awake in the morning, since the bugs are more active in the afternoon. He believes that my Lyme could be in remission but that I could have a co-infection(s) that are making things difficult.

One reason he thinks it’s a co-infection in the brain is because of a test he does for balance. He tests the equilibrium to see if you will catch yourself or if someone else will have to catch you. To give you an idea, I have NO balance. To perform the test you stand with your feet together, arms to the sides, head back, eyes closed. You should have your equilibrium catch you and not fall- I’ll fall. Last time we did this at the Dr.’s – Dan had to catch be because the Dr accidentally let me go too far- oops. 😀

I’m also now on a new thyroid medication. Praise the Lord!!! I’m praying that this helps with the sleep problem and the energy of the sloth problem. (If you thought I was kidding in the intro- sorry, I wasn’t.) My anti-seizure medication has also been upped and may need to be changed depending on how things go. So, overall I’m a bit of a mess but we’re working on patching me back up. My Lyme doctor is amazing and everyone in this area trusts him- I just have to wait for my test results, which I can’t get until I go get the blood taken, which I can’t do until I wake up. It’s a vicious cycle.

Thank you to those of you who are praying for Dan and I. We appreciate it more than words can say. Because of my seizures, we have had to cease going to church due to the loud sounds, lights, crowds, frequencies, ect until I get them controlled- it’s been very draining on us. The Lord created us both as extroverts- we NEED people, so we are doing our best to get our fellowship in elsewhere and get our worship in at home until I can go back. Please know that we love you all, we appreciate your prayers and your support- this has been a really long, hard journey on both of us and we know that it’s not over yet. We’re grateful that we serve a God who sustains us and gives us just what we need as we need it.

We love you all and wish you enough. Happy Valentines Day!

XOXO,